“A Hardworking student attending UNT for Project Design and Analysis. With my experience in retail, customer service, and JROTC, I have enhanced my communication skills with clients and supervisors, learned proper leadership tactics in dealing with difficult tasks, time management, and documentation.” My brand statement, which portrays as much as any recruiter would need to know about me in three sentences or less. Although I am still aspiring to be something greater, this brand statement may be the best representation of my achievements and the aspects I can bring to a company. For my experience, JROTC contributes a large part to it, as it was what taught me how to adapt to multiple situations like students (or employees) that are unmotivated, how to lead without becoming overpowering or rude, and the most useful skill I acquired: how to write reports on individuals and their progress. In my retail experience, I learned diligence and determination, along with the patience to allow myself to be ridiculed by customers and still be respectful, even though my core values would want me to be just as disrespectful to them. These experiences have really helped me grow as a person, and I hope that I will be able to learn more from internships and gain more experience. Another large part of my skill building is obviously school, as it has helped my communications with people I may not know, and help me better understand different perspectives on multiple different subjects, so that I can be more open-minded to new ideas, a crucial skill for a manager. Communication also envelopes public speaking, something I am only able to do because of school and JROTC, as I am naturally introverted and struggle with public speaking. The Cohort has also helped me in this aspect, giving me ample opportunities to speak in front of people I would have never thought to meet, and by association, helped improve my skills with giving presentations.

Respect and Justice are my primary and secondary core values, and I still stand by them at the end of the semester. Every time I meet someone, the internal script in my brain with automatically choose what is the most respectful way to greet someone. That greeting varies depending on the person, some preferring to be called sir or ma’am, and even those who think it is respectful for me to greet them with a, “what’s good man?” Whichever way they think is the most acceptable way to speak to them is, I follow. I know this aspect of me is often referred to as a “people-pleaser” or a “suck-up” but I still think that being respectful naturally is the best way to contribute to my goal of becoming a manager in the future. I also believe this aspect of me can be hindering at times, as I know I will get very irritated with someone if they are not respectful to me, and I often tend to return the favor. I don’t believe I hold myself above others, but if I am given basic respect, I have no intention of giving them the time of day. This can be very inhibiting if I am put in a low position in a work setting, and an employee feels it is okay to disrespect me because of that fact, as my perception on how much respect they deserve will be lowered, no matter how high in rank they are above me. I believe this ties with my justice value as well, as one of the most common lectures I got from my parents was, “treat others how you want to be treated,” and I would do that quite often in Middle School and High School, which was not good for me if the person I was talking to was disrespectful. I can have quite a sharp tongue, and this didn’t make me very popular with selfish students, or teachers for that matter.

A business is only as good as it’s employees, and not all employees are created equal. Some need more time than others to complete a task, and the use of time management can be a useful tool if applied correctly, but is a tool that must be diligently built up over time. In the beginning of the semester, I did not have good time management skills, because I could read something, or learn an equation, and remember it for the rest of the semester. This meant less time for studying because I knew I would remember what I needed to do, and was able to finish my homework and class work fairly quickly. I don’t believe that I could do this because of any talents, just that I would take on level courses, with few AP classes, so work wasn’t difficult to begin with. When the semester started, I didn’t realize this mentality would not hold up to the hardships of college. The classes were not too much more difficult, the only difference being the slight lack of instruction and reminders of due dates. “Well, if there isn’t too many things to do, I’ll just memorize it and do it later, no problem.” Three weeks in, this was a huge problem. There were too many assignments, and not enough time to do them with work now taking up the entirety of my weekend. The lack of reminders also became more of an issue than I thought, as due dates for homework were usually in the same week, and not a week later when I’ve had four other classes and work.These examples are no excuse for a lack of time management, but more of an incentive to motivate myself to continue to work on my time management skills, as it is much different than anything I have done in High School.

For the past few weeks, I have been really stressed. Even though I enjoy the cohort program, there are definitely challenges that must be overcome. Fortunately, most of those challenges have been addressed, like the length of the classes being changed to not be 3 hours, as some students find it hard to concentrate. I believe 3 hours is a long time, but the information we learn is still interesting and I personally don’t mind the length of the classes, since we get 10 to 15 minute breaks regularly. What I am stressed about is the due dates, and work. I know I need to change myself and my schedule to accommodate those due dates, and I am trying to do that more proactively then I was in the beginning of the semester. However I still yet scarce panic attacks from the stress of life, and although I understand it’s not uncommon, I still don’t like getting them. But that’s obvious, no one enjoys anxiety or paranoia, and that’s why I want to use this journal to thank the professors in the cohort, especially Dr. Garcia and Dr. Clayton. All of the professors are doing a phenomenal job at interacting with the students to make sure they know what is happening, and helping those in need, even if they are too introverted to ask. I speak from experience with this, because I have never been one to ask for help. I try to take everything on by myself, even though my parents have always asked me to tell them if I need help. I don’t want to feel weak, and asking for help seems like stepping down from the persona I try to play in public to help my teammates and classmates succeed. Lots of my teammates think I am a confident and powerful voice of leadership, but I really just feel like I’m reading off the script I was given when I led for ROTC, and in truth, I’m not very confident about some of the decisions I make or even the way I look, sound, or act. But the professors of the cohort really try to help me, and even though I still feel uncomfortable about it sometimes, I know they are looking out for me and I appreciate all their help. Thank you.

When I am asked to “talk about my feelings,” I often clam up and do anything but monologue about what’s going on in my life. Maybe it’s due to the stigma that I’ve grown up around saying that guys shouldn’t show their feelings, because if we do, we’re a “pussy”, or a “queer,” and that kind of judgement makes me feel uncomfortable. I am very worried about how I look, and recently I have discovered that I’m not even keeping up with this appearance for myself, but purely for the people around me, and although that may be important to others, I know that I want to make decisions that make me feel good about myself, and not decisions that make other people think I feel good about myself. If I hadn’t grown up around people that only came to school or work in clothes and styles that were popular just to get attention from others, maybe I would be okay not putting styler in my hair, not putting in contacts, not using multiple different products to reduce my acne. But because of this, and my now conflicting motivation to do what makes me feel good, I feel kind of lost. I’ve always been able to get up earlier just to make sure I am the most presentable for people I hardly know, but I was never ‘happy’ to put up a mask for other people. I believe people should be able to embrace their emotions, embrace the fact that they don’t have to wear certain clothes or do their hair a certain way just to be validated from random people. So, I’m feeling okay. Just okay. Not great, not bad. I’m doing okay with school, I have a few days off from work, and It’s October soon, which is my favorite month of the year. I have things to look forward to, but I know that there are things in the back of my mind nagging at me, and I’m choosing to repress them, because that’s what I’ve always done. Hopefully soon, I can start gathering up the courage to express myself positively for both myself and for others. I don’t think looking good for others is bad, but I just don’t want to be forced to do or wear certain things to recieve validation from others, it should be something your actions and personality define, not your shoes or hair.

When it comes to formal dress, I feel like most things come naturally to me, now. Rewind to four years ago, and I wouldn’t have known to wear matching belt and shoes, or to wear an undershirt, or to find tie that had similar colors to the rest of my outfit. And, the most cringey part of it would have been that I would probably still have a stupid bowl cut. I shiver at the through now, but my perspective has changed so much because of one major part of my High School Career. JROTC. Being in JROTC has changed almost everything about how I was four years ago, from how I talk to people, how I style my hair, and how I make decisions. Dress Code was the number one priority for my instructor, Command Sergeant Major Michael Franklin, and so long hair (if it was touching your eyebrows) was out. Baggy clothing, bad posture, and inattentiveness to who is speaking were all major sins in his class, and he enforced them well. On top of that, every Wednesday we were to wear our Army Dress Uniform, with all the medals, nametags, and rank badges in perfect position, or we wouldn’t get a grade for that day. This experience every week for three years has made dressing formally very natural, and ascrace Military Ball or formal dance has also prepared me for dressing well. The last influence on my dress code would have to be my Dad, as he would give me pointers on how to dress for an interview, and he drilled into my head that making a first impression to your employer is an amazing way to ensure you are remembered. Now I feel that when I have to dress up for anything, I can pick out an outfit in less than a minute, and get ready in five.

Taking on a job or task

Taking on a job or task can be harrowing, whether it be for school, work, or even a personal chore you told YOURSELF to do. The best thing about tasks that you are given as a kid up to high school is that when given a task to do, you are also given instructions, training, a module to follow. These steps to follow keep us sane in the chaos of what’s going on around us because we can depend on it to be correct and help you finish what you need to do effectively and efficiently. Even large projects like building furniture or public speaking has a module to follow to help you succeed. Even though a step by step book on building furniture may be more direct than a “10 easy steps to public speaking” article online, there are many things that give us comfort when doing something we are unfamiliar with.

I believe that for more realistic problems there needs to be training for things without steps, without training videos to watch to tell you what to do. If you are dependent on modules and explicit parameter set by another person, there is a limit to the knowledge you can gain. I believe the easiest way for me to achieve success in an ambiguous situation is to compare it to similar situations I have experienced, or research about other people’s experience, and try to pull that knowledge into my current work, even if it is not an exact repeat of what I was told. If I am told to go out and survey “some people” about how they feel about self-driving cars, I will first try to look back on any previous surveys I have had to do, and try to compare the demographic for that to my current one. If I personally have to experience, I will read articles about people who have, and tamper with their demographic to complete my task, as it proved to be beneficial.

    Knowing who you are can be difficult, especially when you are younger, with many aspirations, and not a lot of knowledge on a specific subject. Many young adults try to go after anything, sometimes everything they dream fro, all at once, and they always stretch themselves too thin. I stretch myself too thin when I try to do multiple things all at once, and of course it isn’t healthy, but I don’t know any real strategies to prevent this. Until now. If Time Management is Self Management, I need to set up and follow a schedule that outlines my priorities correctly and remember to “fill up my jar evenly”.

    Everyone has a jar. To me, some people have a glass jar while others may have a plastic one. I have a glass jar, so I need to be cautious of how quickly I put in my rocks (large time consuming activities), Gravel (Time consuming activities), Sand (Short time consuming activities), and water (life’s luxuries, fun), or my jar will crack and shatter, leaving me stressed and unable to control my time, and my health. People with a plastic jar however, can make on the spot decisions, throw in their rocks, gravel, sand, and water, and still be in control and healthy. Because I have a glass jar, I need to prepare an easy to follow schedule that also has smaller amounts of information, to keep me in control, but also healthy.

    Like what we created in class, a written or typed calendar of my week’s upcoming events may be necessary for me to manage my academics and health. Another thing I find very important to my glass jar is self-image. If I believe myself to be bad at a certain activity on my schedule, I will tend to procrastinate, and avoid it, as not to fail, and add another crack to my current week’s glass jar. This ties in with my ability to admit my faults without shame or self-hate, and try to better myself through practice instead of trying to avoid it. If I can properly prepare a prompt schedule with personal feedback to myself, I believe I will eventually become able to better care for myself and my time, building up my jar’s resistance, so it doesn’t shatter.