Journal #10

For the past few weeks, I have been really stressed. Even though I enjoy the cohort program, there are definitely challenges that must be overcome. Fortunately, most of those challenges have been addressed, like the length of the classes being changed to not be 3 hours, as some students find it hard to concentrate. I believe 3 hours is a long time, but the information we learn is still interesting and I personally don’t mind the length of the classes, since we get 10 to 15 minute breaks regularly. What I am stressed about is the due dates, and work. I know I need to change myself and my schedule to accommodate those due dates, and I am trying to do that more proactively then I was in the beginning of the semester. However I still yet scarce panic attacks from the stress of life, and although I understand it’s not uncommon, I still don’t like getting them. But that’s obvious, no one enjoys anxiety or paranoia, and that’s why I want to use this journal to thank the professors in the cohort, especially Dr. Garcia and Dr. Clayton. All of the professors are doing a phenomenal job at interacting with the students to make sure they know what is happening, and helping those in need, even if they are too introverted to ask. I speak from experience with this, because I have never been one to ask for help. I try to take everything on by myself, even though my parents have always asked me to tell them if I need help. I don’t want to feel weak, and asking for help seems like stepping down from the persona I try to play in public to help my teammates and classmates succeed. Lots of my teammates think I am a confident and powerful voice of leadership, but I really just feel like I’m reading off the script I was given when I led for ROTC, and in truth, I’m not very confident about some of the decisions I make or even the way I look, sound, or act. But the professors of the cohort really try to help me, and even though I still feel uncomfortable about it sometimes, I know they are looking out for me and I appreciate all their help. Thank you.